Hello! This is my first time posting!!
Linking up with What I Wore Sunday at Fine Linen and Purple today. Never-mind the fact I have not blogged in a year or so. I will blow off the dust of this old blog…
I converted last April and entered the Church at the Easter Vigil. I haven’t blogged about this at all and I am not sure why exactly. I’m still finding my way and God is still writing my story. Religion is not something I have ever discussed on my blog before. I struggled for over 20 years to find where I was supposed to be. Today in church Father told us at the end of the day before retiring, to write down our thoughts. Let your children and grandchildren see you praying. Share with them your faith, your story, your religion. I think this is so important. Perhaps this is what prompted me to blog now after all these months!
One of the reasons I converted is because of my grandmother. She is Catholic, but growing up I never understood what that even meant. Religion was never spoken of in our home. It was not until I was 9 years old that I ever went to church. When my parents decided it was time to go to church they took us to a Baptist church. We moved from Maryland to Tennessee. There’s a church on every corner here in the south. I had a crash course in Christianity. I found God, I was “saved”. While this was all very foreign to me I tried to find God and develop a relationship with God. I struggled to fit in. I stopped going to church in my teenage years. While I am very grateful for my experience, I found God and was very close to God, but the whole “church” experience had left me very confused. I thought it was me, being a teenager,awkward and full of insecurity. After high school, I really yearned for God, and one of my friend and I went to several churches to “visit” and tried to find a place that felt right. The funny thing was we just kept going to different Baptist churches, or non-denominational churches. It hadn’t dawned on me to visit other denominations. Time marched on, I married and I had my children. My conscious was wracked with guilt because I wanted my children to grow up knowing God and having a church home. I pondered and pondered what to do, but it was a circular argument I would have with myself with no clear solution. I spent many nights having conversations with my husband of my desire to go to church. Over the years we visited many different churches. We tried Baptist, Methodist, Non-denominational, modern and traditional. He is Episcopal, we tried that. We were getting closer, yet like Goldilocks, one church was too big, one to small, too modern, to flashy. When my older daughter was in Catholic school I would go to her school Mass. I felt like I had come home even though I had no idea what was going on. I was finally beginning to get a clue as to what I needed to do. It took many years for me, my daughter is now 20, but one day I finally heard what God was trying to tell me.
I really identified with the reading today:
Reading 1 1 SM 3:3B-10, 19
Samuel was sleeping in the temple of the LORD
where the ark of God was.
The LORD called to Samuel, who answered, “Here I am.”
Samuel ran to Eli and said, “Here I am. You called me.”
“I did not call you, “ Eli said. “Go back to sleep.”
So he went back to sleep.
Again the LORD called Samuel, who rose and went to Eli.
“Here I am, “ he said. “You called me.”
But Eli answered, “I did not call you, my son. Go back to sleep.”
At that time Samuel was not familiar with the LORD,
because the LORD had not revealed anything to him as yet.
The LORD called Samuel again, for the third time.
Getting up and going to Eli, he said, “Here I am. You called me.”
Then Eli understood that the LORD was calling the youth.
So he said to Samuel, “Go to sleep, and if you are called, reply,
Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.”
When Samuel went to sleep in his place,
the LORD came and revealed his presence,
calling out as before, “Samuel, Samuel!”
Samuel answered, “Speak, for your servant is listening.”
Samuel grew up, and the LORD was with him,
not permitting any word of his to be without effect.
Amen! Thanks be to God!! His presence was revealed to me and I finally listened. I told my husband I am going to be Catholic. That was a year before I entered the church. I started going to a neighborhood church in February 2013. I entered into the church Easter 2014 after going through RCIA. It’s taken much reflection and praying to understand where I am today and I’m still holding my conversion close to my heart. I will gladly share my experience with anyone and while this is a big change for anyone that knows me. I have never been more at peace.
Today I can see now how my grandmother’s life was a true example of what a Catholic is. She knows that I converted and she was so excited for me. She is 101 and she is not the storyteller she once was. She is an open book, but her religious life as an adult was not a story she often spoke of. Through God’s grace I can read the story of her life much more clearly now. My husband is going through RCIA now and I am in constant prayer for my children to follow. Lord, I pray I can share and record my story for my children and for their children.
Now, that is a lot of words– let’s just get to what I wore!
Jean Jacket:: Target (I think, it’s really old!)
Skirt:: Gap, Thrifted
Boots:: Born, Zappos
Necklace:: St Theresa Medal